Review of The Woolpack, Shawbirch, Telford, Shropshire, TF5 0LW on Sunday 31st March 2019.

Today (mothering sunday) we had luncheon at the Woolpack in Shawbirch, Telford. It took sometime finding the damn place; where the devil is it one may ask?! Well if you are smart enough to solve the cryptic clue, you will figure out that “Woo Pac” is actually Shawbirch for “Woolpack?!”. Right?!

As one approaches the bar (selling alcohol and probably fags) one will see a delightful poster advertising this family pub as a “drugs free zone”! It’s a gorgeous little poster decorated with razer blades, pills and everything and it’s just the poster you want your 10yr old son to see on mothers day! Yay! P.S. If you ever wondered where you can find a “drugs free zone” in Telford, this is it! Go to the Woo Pac! This pub has it all man!

So then we sat our buttocks down by an unlit fire (nice). In scanning around to admire the rough decor I noticed a nearby sign reminding guests not to throw anything in the fire (including napkins)! How wonderful! I’m just glad the sign didn’t feel the need to remind guests not to throw people in the fire too!

So time to check out the menu (which to be honest I felt rather sorry for) – it had some serious issues with stickiness (every time I opened the menu I could hear the page cry)! The menu offered bog-standard pub grub and the images of the food looked great (if you can see through the grime that is).

So next I needed the loo! Out of the 3 possible toilets available, 2x were “out of order” and the loo that was available, there was nil loo paper! Thanks Woo Pac for failing to meet our basic needs!

Happy mothers day druggies, napkin throwers & smelly arses!

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