Contact

Got a question? A compliment? A spare sausage roll?

Then you’ve come to the right cave.

Whether you want to confess your love for me (understandable), moan about the price of pickled onions, or just tell me your nan saw me on the Wrekin that one time in 1997 — I’m all ears (and farts).

📨 Ways to Reach Me:

• Smoke signals – only visible from the top of the Wrekin and only on Tuesdays.
• Shout really loud – I might hear you if I’m not busy watching the M54.
• Windswept note on a leaf – Romantic. Unreliable. Still faster than Royal Mail.
• Carrier pigeon – results may vary depending on wind and the pigeon’s attitude.

⚠️ Response Time:

I reply faster if you include snacks or memes.
If it’s boring, expect a delay. Or a passive-aggressive puff of wind in your general direction.

Send me your weird thoughts, marriage proposals, and photos of ducks wearing hats. No spam. Unless it’s the edible kind.